Shadowdark Repaired Something in Me

My first game as a player since 2002

Today I played in my first tabletop RPG as a player since 2002. Almost all of my friends have moved away, I don’t really like VTTs, and nobody has been available to play on one anyway. So I signed up for a paid DM service.

I met the owner of Rogue Game Masters at my kids’ homeschool co-op, so it was cool to be supporting a business run by somebody I’ve actually met. I signed up for a Shadowdark one shot since I’ve been obsessed with it lately, and rolled up a character. I had terrible rolls right up until I hit a 14 in Charisma, which is exactly the roll that stops you from being allowed to reroll the whole thing. I trust in the dice gods, so I didn’t flub it. I stuck with him.

The Tragedy of Ravenmere Manor

The one shot we ran was The Tragedy of Ravenmere Manor. I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but it was about what you’d expect from a trip through a haunted house with a big baddie at the end, where the items you find scattered around the place are the things that end up saving you.

Borb, and a long night of bad dice

My dwarf witch, Borbulious, quickly nicknamed Borb, opened the night casting Fog and rolled a 6. Even with a +3 that’s a lost spell. That turned out to be par for the course for the rest of the night.

The highlight was his familiar, a frog, getting used as the source of an Eyebite that helped take down one of the mini bosses. After that I failed to cast every single spell I tried for the rest of the session except one.

The one spell I landed all night was Toadstool, and it saved our downed pit fighter in the final fight, who then got up and killed the big baddie himself. Borb sacrificed himself to distract a zombie shortly after and went down too. The party finished the boss, stabilized him, and carried him back to town.

10/10 for Rogue Game Masters

This isn’t really a review of the adventure. If you want a real review, 2d6 Stingbats has one. That whole site is Shadowdark adventure reviews, so they’re going to do a better job of it than I would.

What I will say is 10/10 to Rogue Game Masters and to our DM, The Warlock. I’ll definitely be signing up for more paid sessions, and I’ll probably write about what it’s like being a paying player once I’ve done it a few more times.

What I actually want to talk about

What I really want to talk about is Shadowdark and what it’s done for me.

I mentioned in my first Shadowdark post that I had no intention of ever picking it up, but the stars aligned and I ended up with a copy of the book. It’s been a total departure from my usual hobby habits.

My usual process is this. See something on Instagram or YouTube, research it heavily for a few days, order it online, obsessively check the tracking, get the package off the driveway, let it sit on my desk for a few days until I can get time away from the wife and kids to properly look at it, look at it, put it on the shelf, and never do anything with it.

The broken phone

Almost a year ago I started a YouTube channel where I post daily hobby vlog content. At the beginning of July my phone broke and I couldn’t record or upload anything, which ended my daily streak. I didn’t want to play any of my current games if I couldn’t record the session, so I grabbed Shadowdark and just jumped in.

Since that first week of July I’ve either played solodark, painted a figure, or made something hobby related for Shadowdark every single day. I didn’t do it to make content, even though I’ve shared the first couple of sessions here already. I did it because I was totally absorbed in it. In the inspiration, in the hobby, in the game. Focused on creating instead of consuming.

One model at a time

I wasn’t constantly reading through Discord channels looking for new meta lists and current builds like I do with Infinity or Warmachine. I wasn’t staring down a massive army project or a pile of shame like I do with army games. All I had was one model at a time, working through ideas, writing stories, playing out sessions and rolling dice.

Shadowdark has repaired something in me, and today it all really came together, finding a new community and a new group of people to play with. It’s been a clean break in the cycle of FOMO, waste time doing anything but hobbying, move on to the next FOMO.

This is a rambling post and I’m stream of consciousnessing my way through it, so hopefully it turns into something redeemable by the end.

Where I’m landing

The point I’m trying to make is that maybe, for me personally, I’ve worked out that I’m a TTRPG player and not really a wargamer at all anymore. And past that, I need to focus on what I already have, on how inspiring and creative I can be with what’s already sitting on my shelf, and stop consuming and keep creating.

I want to get back to YouTube soon with some high quality, meaningful videos instead of daily vlogs that just feed somebody else’s consumption cycle.

Borb isn’t done

If you’re still here and you’re interested in the Shadowdark side of things, I’m using today’s session to launch me into a new solo campaign, because I’ve fallen in love with my character and I’m once again filled with inspiration to keep the story going.

First session is coming. I’ll put the link right here when it’s up.

Links & resources mentioned in this article

• Rogue Game Masters
• The Tragedy of Ravenmere Manor, by William Harshman (Runeforged Tabletop Gaming)
• 2d6 Stingbats’ review of Ravenmere Manor
• Shadowdark